Cape Cod - The Burton family is breathing easier today, knowing that their nemesis of terror is finally in a cage. It began last summer when the Burtons were enjoying family night at their seaside resort home. Little Annie Burton went to the bathroom after a challenging game of monopoly and sat on the toilet, her mind in deep thought. Suddenly, she felt a pain on her bum, and she ran out the door and down the stairs to her father. He checked the toilet and caught a glimpse of a huge lobster going back down the toilet. " I didn't know what to think. It's hard to imagine a lobster living in a toilet, but I've heard of crocodiles in the sewer, so this comes as no surprise to me". Animal control authorities had been unable to trap the lobster, so they called in an old Indian Trapper from Canada to help with the hunt. The Indian was fluent in the art of capture and kill techniques, and the family was prepared to pay any amount for their release from this terror.

On several occasions, members of the Burton Family were taken to hospital for gashes to their bum-cheeks and once little Johnny Burton, 6, got an infection so severe that he couldn't sit down for a week. " I didn't know what to say to my freinds...how do I tell them that it wasn't a bear bite..it was a lobster snap ...When they read this story, I'll be the laughing stock of the school ".

One evening, the Indian had setup a "double loop" lobster trap, and strung it alonside the hamper, where he knew the lobster liked to come out for fresh air. The family was in the living room, when they heard the Indian yelling an ancient Mohican war cry - one of Success ! They were so overjoyed with the capture that they invited the Indian and his family to the 4th of July celebrations at their home. Says Vera Burton - "We were going to have a traditional 4th of july dinner, but this calls for a celebration...so what if the lobster lived in a toilet ? We'll wash him off and eat him...he won't be back to terrorize other little children".

The lobster will be kept alive until July 4th, when a professional chef will prepare him for the family dinner table.

Above: Massive lobster finally captured alive. Burton and his family are considering eating it for July 4th celebrations.

"I was sitting on the toilet and I felt something take a bite out of my rear end. I jumped so high I cracked my head on the light...but I'm glad it's over...."

                                                       Vera Burton
                                                   Housewife
                                                                                                  

"When I saw that red claw reaching over the edge of the porcelain throne, I thought it was the devil himself...I fainted and gave myself to God. "

                                           
                                                         June Burton
                                                           Grandmother
                                                                                        
"His claws dug into me like nails in a coffin. I thought that he would drag me to his underground lair ! "

                                           
                                              Melissa Burton
                                                  14 yr old daughter