Detroit - Two of the country's largest courier firms, Fed Ex and UPS have announced a plan where they would merge into one single fighting force destined for the war ridden Balkans. They say they are fed up with the war - hence the name FEDUP. Military sources at the Pentagon have confirmed the call-up of  FEDUP as yet another tool of war against the butcher of the Balkans, Slobodan Milosevic.

The Mudpile has managed to secure military documents which show how well-armed and deadly the new FEDUP trucks really are. The entire truck is made of first grade titanium, and can withstand most types of firepower. It is powered by a twin turbo diesel engine. In its grille, it houses a double 50mm cannon capable of destroying any adversary with ease. The crew consists of three men : The pilot, the navigator, and the delivery man. It appears that US troops in Albania would load 50 FEDUP cruise missiles into the back of the truck, and the team would set off for Kosovo. The pilot would then drive into Serb territory and penetrate their defenses. At that point, the skilled delivery man would unlatch the rear doors and begin dropping the FEDUP cruise missiles right into the heart of the Serbian defense.

The primary team of 12 FEDUP fighting machines is destined to arrive in Albania on Thursday, but as is so often the case, FEDUP could not guarantee an exact delivery time.

Above: The Apache T-11X FEDUP Land Cruiser

"after fighting traffic in downtown Detroit, handling the rugged Kosovo terrain will be a breeze..."
                                                  Captain D. Kunnell
                                                  T-11X Commander                                               

" FEDUP will soon be the Elite Fighting Force of the
ground war in Yugoslavia - it will turn things in our favor.."
                                                   Lt. Heintz Heimlich
                                                          German Special Forces
                              NATO