Dover, MA -
"I think its something to do with his stomach.." was the last thing that 911 dispatcher Carol Quandt heard before the loud explosion that ended her call with a local Dover resident.

At 5:15pm half a city block exploded killing 5 people and seriously wounding 15. The explosion was not caused by any gas leak or natural disaster but from a severe rectal build-up.

Dennis Edwards, a local PAOD (Phat-Asses-of-Dover) member, and a Dover Elementary PTA member was killed by a self inflicted anal explosion also killing his wife and 2 children, and there pet Dog fluffy. Apparently Dennis was eating refried beans for days, left-overs from his oldest son's high school graduation reception, and had been complaining about sever stomach cramps.

His wife Norma called the paramedics at 5:13pm to dispatch an ambulance but it was too late. At 5:15pm Dennis could no longer hold himself and exploded.

A memorial service is planned for Thursday night at the Bethony Lutheran Church. Funeral plans have not yet been announced.

"I knew Dennis, and he loved beans.." - Wilma Westbrook (fellow PTA - 43)

"What a fat piece of S**T, he deserved to die." - Adam Kully (Neighbor - 14)