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Attempts flight using Wooden wings Scotland - Henry Reitman set out to break the world aviation record for unmotorized flight, as he donned a set of wooden wings and launched himself off a 230 foot cliff. Reitman, an unemployed mechanic, built the wings in his garage and called reporters to witness his maiden flight. As his assistant checked windspeed and other fine details, Reitman spoke to reporters. " I have a dream - to attain an altitude of 30000 feet, and fly to Canada....it ain't gonna be easy, but I'm gonna get there...". At 11:01 A.M., Saturday, Reitman took a running start and soared off the cliff, flapping like a crazed bird. He was sucked into a pocket of air which hurled him into the upper atmosphere. At that point, radio communications were breaking up, but air traffic control reported that Reitman's last words were -" It looks like a derned 727 !!!". 8 minutes later, Reitman plummeted out of the sky and smashed into a field near Chershire. The impact was so strong, that his body left a crater 4 inches deep. The 727 landed safely at a military airport, but the pilot was visibly shaken, saying - " I couldn't believe it...there was a freak with wooden wings tied to his arms and he was trying to climb in order to avoid a collision. My plane sucked him into the jet engine". Reitman's widow had this to say - " Henry was a real dildohead. He always did weird stuff - once he tried to shoot himself out of a cannon, but it misfired and exploded...I think that's when his brain damage started...". His remains were cremated and his ashes were disposed of from a hot air balloon. |
 Above: Reitman, just before enough speed is attained to render him airborne. "He's a kook -
his stupid wooden wings will never work..." "All he has to do is get off the ground...gravity will
do the rest...''
"I never seen him coming....'' |
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