Sesame Street, NY
(The New York Times)-  The ever-so-lovable Bert of Sesame Street's "Bert & Ernie" was proven to be everything but lovable in Newark's district court yesterday.

4 months ago Sesame Street's 911 dispatcher received an anonymous call from an unknown Sesame Street inhabitant proclaiming that Bert had assaulted her. Bert was arrested and taken into custody but was released on a $500.00 bail paid by his heterosexual roommate Ernie.

"It just didn't seem real, Bert was always so friendly and nice to me. Although he has been drinking more then ever lately but I just don't see it." commented Ernie in an interview on 60 minutes in February.

Bert who on a night of severe drinking went out bar hopping assaulted Prairie Dawn in an alley of Sesame Street. "I was so scared I just wanted to reason with him but the look in his eyes told me he was everything but joking. He just wasn't there." Prairie Dawn said. "I didn't know what to do but to let him finish but luckily Big Bird came to the rescue."

Dawn, who was assaulted by Bert, placed the anonymous call into Sesame Street's 911 dispatch but hung up because of her deep inner fear of Bert. "I feared for my life. I thought I knew him, but I guess I was wrong." Dawn proclaimed after the court hearing.

Bert was sentenced to 30 years for assault and battery with no bail.

"Its just amazing, but it aint easy being green." - Kirmit the frog

"Get the hell out of here and leave me alone." - Oscar the Grouch

Bert's Mugshot - Sesame Street Police Department

Photo taken by BigBird which proves of the assault
the night of the attack.