London - After 270 witnesses, 20 expert testimonies and numerous other affidavits, Dentist No Mow Chu, an immigrant from Vietnam, erupted in glee after the judge ruled in his favor, and awarded him counter-claim compensation. Chu spent over 100,000 dollars to defend himself after alleged claims of malpractice at his dental clinic surfaced. He hired well known attorney William Cordner who worked through the witnesses one by one and destroy their testimony.

Chu was alleged to use primitive techniques when repairing patient's teeth including one alleged incident where he used a 2 iron to remove an impacted wisdom tooth.

Says Chu: "I never took a tooth out unless I was asked to. At dental school they taught me the conventional way of dentistry, but show me on my diploma where it says I can't try new techniques.."

The British Association of Dental Surgeons wasted no time in renewing Chu's license to practice medicine. Say Dr. Milton Battinger, head of the BADS:

" I simply cannot allow our board to deny Dr. Chu a dental license. He has never been convicted of any misdeeds, even though his stuff is somewhat wacky...."

Chu added: "Well, there's one way to look at things - look at my teeth...ten years ago I had 97 cavities and stained yellow fangs. Now, after years of working on my own teeth using a mirror, and alot of morphine and alot of silver, I fixed my own set. Take a look for yourself ! Good job..wouldn't you say so yourself mister ?"

Sources say that Chu was obsessed with his teeth. Says Miles Guthrie, his best friend: " Chu would spend two or three hours a day fixing his own teeth. I estimate that he has over 17 pounds of silver in those teeth. He must have the strongest damned jaw muscles on Earth !..."

The Mudpile has learned that Chu was once rushed to the London Hospital and underwent emergency surgery to repair his tongue, which was bitten off by his own set of silver teeth. An alleged 90 stitches was used to reattach the flesh. Chu has denied this.

The Mudpile will continue reporting this story.

Above: Photo evidence of the breaking story.

"..Chu pulled seven of my teeth, He's a good guy cause he told me I had 3 bad teeth, and it would cost 30 bucks each to take them out. But if he pulled seven, along with the "pay to pull 3 teeth and we pull 3 more free" promotion Bonus coupon, I managed to pull the extra 4 teeth for only 32 bucks more ! The man was a true humanitarian..."
Siff Grebbly

"When Chu gave me the pre-extraction pain killer injection, I went nuts. I felt like the walls were melting and that spiders were eating me. He used pure heroin. I didn't give a holy crap that the tooth was being pulled. I went to Chu's office just for the heroin..."
Billy, Addict